Scars of Yesterday (Sons of Templar MC Book Book 8) Read online

  It hit me again then. In the chest. Ranger’s absence. Not just a longing for him. But the practical part of having another parent. A partner. Something like this wouldn’t have been a big deal. Ranger would’ve kissed both me and Lily, rolled out of bed and gone to get what we need. I’d be here, taking care of the kids.

  He’d be back in time. Everything would be fine.

  But that’s not how it was.

  I couldn’t leave them. Even though Jack techinically was old enough. Something in the bottom of my stomach warned me against leaving my kids alone. Without someone to watch them. Protect them. But I just had to figure out who that would be. I couldn’t call on one of my friends yet again. Olive was working the night shift, most likely on her way home from the hospital. She’d be dead on her feet by now. She’d come if I called. Without hesitation. But I couldn’t do that.

  My mother was out of the question because she was my mother and also because she’d lecture me about forgetting something like this and judge my parenting skills. I couldn’t handle that without coffee and only a handful of hours of sleep. Kace had left just before the sun came up.

  We’d been taking bigger risks. He was staying longer. Any night could be the one Lily had a nightmare and tried to get in the locked bedroom door. Kace would have to jump naked out the window. I’d have to explain to my daughter why the door was locked.

  Fuck.

  There was one option that was two minutes away.

  While I was getting the kids ready, I texted him.

  Are you awake?

  He took less than a minute to reply.

  What do you need, babe?

  Fuck.

  I quickly texted the information, and he was on my doorstep five minutes later. He looked awake and alert. Not at all like he’d just rolled out of bed.

  Which was exactly what I looked like.

  I’d pulled on an old shirt of Ranger’s, some jeans and worn sneakers. My hair was thrown into a messy bun. Not the chic, messy bun that Amy and Gwen perfected. No, the I haven’t brushed and can’t remember when I last washed my hair kind of bun.

  So not cute.

  Kace didn’t seem overly disgusted, in fact, his eyes flared with an ember of heat.

  “You got here quick,” I observed.

  He grinned. “Quick at some things, sweetheart. Take my time with others.”

  I swallowed roughly, my thighs pulsing with remembering.

  “You weren’t asleep?” I asked, trying to make my voice sound even.

  He shook his head. “Was too buzzed. Worked out. Caught a few hours of the Asian stock market.”

  Who was this guy?

  I decided to ignore that. “Okay, I wouldn’t do this if it was any kind of emergency that didn’t involve a PTA full of bitchy women judging me for forgetting something again,” I said, snatching my keys and putting them in my purse.

  “Babe, it’s good. I like your kids,” he reassured me.

  My mind flashed back to the day after the migraine—the day that I had not mentioned to Kace since it happened because I didn’t want to inspect what it had meant—and how both kids had raved about the time they’d spent with Kace. Jack had done so begrudgingly, as if it were something he was going to be punished for, but he did it, nonetheless. So it was safe to say the kids felt comfortable him, that they were happy to spend time with him. It only made me more reluctant to do this.

  On cue, Lily entered the room. “Kace!” she yelled with glee. “You’ve come to hang out and have breakfast.”

  I’d already quickly briefed them on the situation, about Kace having breakfast with them while I went to get food. Lily had been over the moon. Jack had groaned about not needing a babysitter.

  He was likely sulking in his room right now.

  “Yep, breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Kace declared with a wink.

  Lily’s face sobered. “That’s what I tell Mom, but she never listens to me, she never eats breakfast.”

  “Well, we’re going to have to change that, aren’t we?” Kace asked, eyes twinkling.

  Lily nodded.

  “Okay, I have no time for this.” I kissed Lily on the head. “Be good for Kace. Don’t try to trick him and say you’re allowed ice cream for breakfast.”

  She folded her arms and pouted, since that was exactly what she’d been planning to do.

  “Thank you,” I muttered to Kace, still uneasy about this.

  “Babe, we’ll be fine. Go.”

  This was crossing a line now. Leaving Kace with my kids. Him being more than willing to do so. This was crossing to more than just sex. Or maybe that line had been destroyed a long time ago.

  Nevertheless, I left.

  I was speeding. Because I was in a rush. Because I was distracted with my thoughts. Because the streets were quiet. I’d all but breezed through all of the traffic lights before getting outside of town. The local police weren’t likely to touch me, even for blowing through stop lights. It’s the way it was in Amber. The Sons and those connected to them were not bulletproof, that much was clear, but they were definitely invisible to the law.

  Edmond might be right, that might change one day, but not today.

  So I was speeding when it happened. When a sharp corner came up ahead, when I was distracted enough to have to break at the last minute. But tapping on the break did nothing to slow me. I was fully paying attention now. My foot didn’t tap the break this time. I slammed on it. Nothing happened.

  Realization dawned.

  Right about the second the turn came and there was a crash, crunching of metal, blinding pain, then not much else.

  “Lizzie, baby, you need to open your fucking eyes,” a voice hissed.

  I felt hands on me.

  “Don’t move her,” another voice commanded. “We don’t know what kind of damage has been done.”

  The hands on me tensed. “You want me to leave her in a mangled fucking car?” the voice, who I was now thinking belonged to Kace, clarified.

  “I want you to lock it down for a second. Can hear the sirens and the ambulance minutes out,” the other voice clipped. Bull. At least I thought so. A lot of these men had low, alpha male-type rasps. The pounding in my head and the ringing in my ears made it hard for me to differentiate.

  “Lizzie?” Kace asked. “Can you open your eyes?”

  He was worried. I could hear that in his voice. I could hear everything in his voice.

  My vision was blurry at first. It was painful to blink. There was something wet and warm on my head. Blood, I deduced. A blinding headache, the fact that I’d been in a car wreck.

  Kace was right in my face, hands on my neck, pale, terrified.

  “I’m okay,” I mumbled, trying to move.

  His hands tightened. “No, baby. We’re gonna wait for the paramedics before we do anythin’ like that.”

  Sirens came closer, the pounding in my head getting worse.

  “You need to tell me where it hurts,” he demanded with urgency.

  I wasn’t sure how damaged my car was, but his voice told me it was bad. I could see shards of glass scattered around me.

  “My head hurts,” I groaned, taking stock of the rest of my body. Nothing seemed broken. I could feel my legs, wiggle my toes.

  “Yeah, sweetheart, you’re gonna have a headache for a spell,” Kace said gently.

  “I’m okay otherwise, I think.” My stomach clenched. “The kids? Where are they?”

  Kace’s hands went to my cheek, gently cupping it. “They’re fine. Mia is with them. She’s making them ice cream for breakfast.”

  I smiled weakly. “Of course she is.”

  I didn’t ask how Kace and Bull got here so quickly, how they’d known I’d crashed or how they’d gotten Mia to our place already. It was part of the alpha male magic.

  Or maybe I was concussed.

  The sirens were deafening now. Then they shut off. Bull came closer, eyes on me then Kace. “Brother, you need to step back, let them do th
eir job.”

  Kace’s eyes turned to granite. He didn’t move. People in uniforms stood beside Bull. I recognized most of them. Not surprising. The town was small. Though I couldn’t find their names right now.

  “Kace, honey, you’ve got to move,” I said gently. “I’m okay, promise.”

  His jaw turned hard. “You fucking better be.”

  Something in his voice caught me then.

  It was the alpha male determination.

  Somehow, I’d found myself in another Sons of Templar courtship.

  Chapter 16

  After being checked over at the hospital with Kace hovering—he refused to stay in the waiting room, the staff had done this dance many times before, so they just let him through—I was discharged a couple of hours after they brought me in.

  A concussion, two stitches in my head. Apparently, I was lucky, considering the state of my car. Which I did not want to think about in that moment. I had insurance. It was good coverage. But I needed a car.

  Ranger’s truck was in the garage as it had been since he’d last driven it. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to drive it. Definitely hadn’t been able to bring myself to sell it.

  Sometimes, in the darkest of times, I’d gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to sit in there. It still smelled of him. In amongst the musk and stale air. But only if I kept it closed up, didn’t indulge in sitting in there often, only when the need was dire. It was the last thing I had of him.

  If I opened it up and drove it around, it wouldn’t smell of him anymore.

  But I couldn’t think about that. Not now. The drugs they gave me were good at making the exterior and interior pain disappear.

  Kace was always close. Always touching me. It was nice. I grateful for the pills since without them, I would’ve likely found a way to feel wrong about Kace. Being taken care of, protected, lusted after. It was meant to be a bad thing.

  The drugs didn’t make it feel bad. Not at all.

  They made it feel normal. Natural. Easy.

  They also made me feel like I’d just come from a spa and not a car wreck, so they weren’t exactly to be trusted.

  Olive had rushed over after I’d called her, calmly telling her what happened and trying to discourage her from getting in her car. I was obviously unsuccessful, presumably because Olive was a nurse who could care for someone on heavy drugs, and also because she’d lost her son and needed to see with her own eyes that I was okay.

  What I didn’t need her to see with her own eyes was Kace. Even in my drugged-up state, I knew that was wrong. I did my best trying to convince him to leave, but he did that hard-jawed thing and stayed put. It did help that Gage was there, too, watchful. Worried.

  If Olive was surprised to see the two men from the Sons in my living room, she didn’t show it. She didn’t show much other than concern about the neat stitches on my head. She’d done her own examination, of course. She would’ve stayed for the entire day, I knew that for sure, but she had shift at the hospital which I convinced her not to miss. She’d be back tomorrow, I knew that. Olive was shaken from all of this, from how close she’d gotten to losing her remaining child, which was what I was to her.

  I didn’t tell my own mother, of course. The drugs made me feel foolish but not stupid.

  Foolish enough to let Kace stay after Gage left.

  The drugs had worn off. The kids had gone to bed, more than a little shaken that their only remaining parent had been in a car accident. Jack had been trying to stay staunch, as always, but he was visibly rattled. Lily hadn’t left my side since I came home, then brought me a mug full of M&M’S to help me feel better. We called it ‘M&M’ tea, only to be brought out in the direst of emotional situations. Like when Lily liked her first boy and he’d called her ‘weird’.

  Once the pills had worn off, leaving me with my head throbbing, I felt overwhelming guilt for putting my kids through this again.

  Kace had made dinner. Pasta bake. The kids had adored it. It didn’t taste like much of anything to me, but he forced me to eat it. Just like he’d hovered all day to make sure that I didn’t fall asleep and lapse into a coma.

  I’d been getting texts and phone calls all day. Kace had apparently banned everyone from visiting, declaring that I needed time to rest.

  So the alpha male bullshit has begun.

  That text was from Bex, and I could practically see her shit-eating grin through the screen.

  It seemed the visitor ban did not extend to presidents of MCs since Cade arrived not long after we put the kids to bed.

  Yes, we.

  Lily wanted Kace to read the story while I lay beside her until she fell asleep. It felt right and incredibly wrong at the same time.

  Cade declined the offer of a beer, whisky or water. He was a man on a mission, it seemed. He had a family to get back to, so he didn’t fuck around.

  “Someone cut your brakes,” Cade reported.

  I blinked, pushing myself up from my position on the sofa. “What?”

  Kace stood behind his president, body stiff, mouth straightened into a hard line. I’d never seen him like this. He’d kept it locked down throughout the day. He’d been intent on taking care of me, keeping me calm. Cooking. Distracting the kids from the stitches in their mother’s head serving as evidence that she could not only get hurt but could die like their father.

  “Towed your car, took it to the garage,” Cade continued. “Something felt off, especially considering the crash. Brakes were cut. Clean. Definitely not an accident.”

  Though Cade spoke in his even, cold tone, I knew he was angry. Knew he somehow blamed himself. That’s what these men did. They blamed themselves when something happened to people they were supposed to protect. The club was supposed to protect.

  I was blindsided by this news. Although I had known something was wrong when I was driving. When nothing happened no matter how hard I stepped on the brakes. Ranger was religious about the upkeep of our vehicles. They were serviced every twelve months at the Sons of Templar garage. No way would someone have missed something like my brakes not working.

  “Who would want to cut my brakes?” I wondered, more to myself than anyone else.

  Cade’s lips were a thin line. “That’s what we’re tryin’ to figure out. Club doesn’t have beef with anyone right now. And anyone who would be holding a grudge against us sure as shit wouldn’t be targeting you.”

  Yes, it made no sense that I’d be a target even to the most ruthless of gangs. They’d want to go for maximum hurt, inflicting the deepest wounds. Sure, if I’d died, it would be a hit to the club. A small cut. But there was no one wearing a Sons cut who loved me to their core. Not anymore. No one who would use their pain and grief over losing me to make rash decisions and start a war, which was usually the goal when targeting Old Ladies.

  It made no sense for the club to be connected with this. Someone was more focused on me, not the club.

  “You have any kind of altercation with anyone? Anyone holding a grudge against you?” Cade questioned, obviously thinking the same thing.

  I furrowed my brows, the expression painful. The most exciting and dangerous part of my life was my connection to the Sons of Templar. To be fair, the Sons pervaded most areas of my life. Or they had for over fifteen years.

  They were still my family. They always would be. But a huge connection to them had been severed.

  The majority of my life revolved around my kids. School runs. Laundry. Groceries. Going to sports games that bored me silly. Parent-teacher conferences. Suffering through dinners with my mother. I didn’t have altercations with anyone. Mostly because even the mothers who disliked me did it privately because of my connection to the club. And almost all of my personal connections were within the club.

  When it came down to it, I was a widowed mother who didn’t do anything to require someone hating her enough to cut the brakes on her car.

  “No,” I told Cade. “Other than one mother at a bake sale who was pissed I didn�
��t bake gluten free muffins, there’s no one who would be willing to cut my brakes in order to get me out of the picture.”

  Cade nodded. There was guilt there. He felt responsibility for this. He already carried the responsibility for Ranger’s death, wore it on his shoulders as a president did.

  “That’s not true.”

  Both Cade and I looked sideways to the person who spoke.

  Kace wasn’t looking at me. “A lawyer in town. Doesn’t take rejection well.”

  I glared at him, anger bubbling up my throat. “Edmond is a toxic male who will do his best to cut with his words, but nothing else. He definitely wouldn’t be someone who would cut my brakes just because I wouldn’t go on a second date with him.”

  Kace acted like I hadn’t spoken. “His interest in Lizzie is unhealthy. She backed him off in a way that made it clear he was never getting in.”

  Cade nodded. “We’ll look into it.”

  “You will do no such thing,” I snapped. “He didn’t do this.”

  Cade’s gaze was gentle, for him at least. “Regardless of whether he did or didn’t, we’re going to explore all avenues. We’re not going to take any risks with you or the kids. Best case scenario, we scare off some asshole who doesn’t understand the word no.”

  My mouth twitched with a sudden need to smile, envisioning Edmond flinching back while being confronted by someone like Cade and the rest of the Sons.

  Despite my need to argue, I didn’t. Not just because my head was pounding and my bed was beckoning. Because Cade was right. It would be reckless of me to think that there weren’t people in this world who were capable of things like this. Everyone was capable of anything. It was stupid and deadly to think anything else. To have faith in humanity. To trust anyone who didn’t share blood or wear a cut.

  Shit.

  If there really was someone out to get me, I had to tell them everything. Ideally, I would’ve liked to tell Cade without Kace in attendance, but there was no way would Kace move an inch right then. Maybe it would be better to not tell them about the incident at the house. It could also be infinitely stupid to keep that to myself.